Wife. Mother. Grammar Police. List Maker. Chocoholic. Bridal Industry Victim. Lagging Fitness Fanatic.
So, you’ve found me. Welcome!
Allow me to start off with a brief introduction. I am 30 years of age, an Aquarius (if that kind of thing makes a difference to you…on the cusp of Capricorn, if you really want to go deep). I am an English Language & Linguistics graduate, have lived on the Sussex Coast since my university days some 12 years ago, and until very recently, had worked for an increasingly prolific wedding dress label for about the last 8. In March 2017, I also became ‘Mum’.
Maybe you always knew you wanted to be a Mummy or Daddy. Maybe knee-high to a pig’s eye , you pushed around your leaky-eyed, widdling Tiny Tears dolly in a miniature pink, plastic pushchair, dutifully tending to her imaginary needs. I always quite fancied one of those dollies, but was put off by the upkeep. A fair amount of effort and mess, for not much of a return, I thought. I busied myself with countless Barbie dolls; dressing them in new outfits, styling their hair, planning and executing elaborate and obscure Barbie ‘events’ with my younger sister (Barbie ‘Swimming Gala’ in the paddling pool, anyone?). We spent hours and hours designing the detailed interiors of their homes, before we even attempted to ‘play house’.
You are probably getting a feel for where I’m going with this. Maybe. Babies never interested me. I was not, and am still not, to whom you’d assign the label of ‘natural’ Mum. I spent a great deal of my twenties unashamedly telling people how I didn’t particularly like or want children. My focus was my friends, my career, my relationships, my newest outfit, the next party…
“What’s wrong with that?” you may ask. Well, nothing! (except in retrospect, perhaps, that people with children aren’t *super* keen to hear how you’d rather run a 100m sprint barefoot over a field of upturned plugs, than spend anything beyond a fleeting moment in the company of their beloved offspring).
I’m certainly not out to bash those who possess the maternal or paternal instinct; far from it! I have a huge amount of respect and admiration for those who’ve possess an intrinsic love for little ones, and ‘just know’ how best to interact with them.
What I’d really like to do here is document the alternative. Let’s be real. It’s a sometimes stressful, perpetually-challenging, awe-inspiring, side-splittingly hilarious and indisputably life-changing journey into motherhood, and it can be all too easy to lose a piece of yourself along the way. Here I will share all the wee nuggets of wisdom I’ve picked up, that have made it all just a little bit easier not to.
I definitely don’t know everything, though. Absolutely not. I am a semi-dry, but permeable sponge to the murky waters of parenthood. On that note, if anyone knows how to salvage a cold cup of tea and soggy old ‘Mum’ toast, I’m all ears.